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What is sensory overload?
Sensory overload is like a tsunami, flooding your brain with more input than you can handle from all five senses. It cranks everything up to 11, leaving you feeling completely frazzled and massively overwhelmed. It’s especially tough for people with sensory processing disorders, but let’s be real: it can make anyone want to scream.
An example of sensory overload
Sensory overload affects people differently but imagine this…
The dishwasher’s strange beat whooshes while the washing machine ramps up the spin, ready to take off. The tumble dryer tumbles, crashing zips and buttons arrhythmically into its barrel. Meanwhile, the builders next door sound like they’re about to bring the roof down.
Two children run past you blasting kiddie disco pop, singing incoherently, flashing their torches for strobe lighting and twirl precariously close to the hard corners of nearby furniture.
Some kind soul just went to the bathroom and left an unfathomably large present in the toilet with the door wide open.
The toxic vapours waft down the hallway whilst child No. 3’s flashy-smashy-bang-bang computer game is thrust into your face as you’re tip-toeing around a minefield-like landscape of foot destroying Lego bricks.
Just when you think you’ve reached your limit, the kids simultaneously pile on for a “cuddle”, literally fighting for your undivided attention.
What does sensory overload feel like?
If you’re anything like us, you’ll sometimes find yourself standing in the middle of the room, completely overwhelmed by the sensory overload.
Unable to think straight.
The wick of dynamite in your head will have burned right down to the blasting cap and it may feel like you’re about to do a grey matter Jackson Pollock on every surface of the room.
But that’s the reality of life in a busy household with multiple young children, right?
How to cope with sensory overload
If we manage to momentarily detach ourselves from our internal monologue of doom we’ll see the kids, simply playing and overflowing with the joy of being alive and revelling in the freedom of being part of a loving unschooling household.
They’re having a bloody great time!
So rather than just losing our shit… which we still do on occasion; or like many people joke (is it reaaaaally a joke?) send the kids to school so we can have a “break”; we’re figuring out steps to reduce the sensory overload.
In this post we’ll be offering practical tips and strategies to avoid the mind maceration. Writing it down will also serve as a reminder to ourselves as it’s easy to forget in the moment.
Bear in mind, this is not just for the benefit of parents but also for children. Kids can often suffer from sensory overload too. In fact, the article “Sensory Processing in Children” by Kong and Moreno suggest one in six children have sensory processing difficulties.
Step 1: Identify
Really think about yourself and your family and make a mental note of any obvious triggers? For example:
- Loud music
- Gaming sound effects
- Sounds of people eating – Misophonia (argh!)
- Layers of noise (washing machine, construction work nearby, traffic, talking)
- Animals (in the house and outside)
- Bright or flashing lights
- Tickly sensations and rough textures
- Unwanted physical attention
- Strong odours
- Mess and clutter around the house
Ok, brilliant… so now you hopefully have a non-exhaustive list of stuff that pisses you off.
Yey!
Let’s also consider when sensory overload happens…
“ALL.
THE.
FUCKING.
TIME.”
We hear you… It can certainly feel that way when there are few breaks in the day. Having really thought about it ourselves, there are actually key times and places where things get a little too much. The decibel meter on our smart watches freaking out is often a sign.
(Like we need to be alerted to the fact it’s noisy!)
The sensory overload for us usually happens when we’re cooking or sitting at the dinner table just after the kids detach themselves from their screens and have a sudden burst of energy.
A mismatch of energy is also common first thing in the morning when they’re full of jumping beans and kindly wake us up with an elbow drop to the cranium; or later in the evening when we’re shattered from the day and they get a second (gale force) wind.
It may also help to identify times when you are most affected and your tolerance is lower. It’s possibly when:
- You are feeling tired or sick
- Trying to work or concentrate
- Are due on your period (if you have them)
- Haven’t left the house that day
- Other stressful things are happening in your life
By identifying specific triggers and times they occur it’s possible to at least minimise sensory overload.
Our triggers are the sounds of people eating and visual clutter (Miles); layered sounds and anything tickly (Louise); and loud noises and rough textures (Ada).
With Francis and Annie it often seems like the opposite – they want additional sensory input. Our challenge is to find a way of doing that in a way that works for us all.
Prevention of our sensory overload (when we manage it) allows us to enjoy the day, keep our cup full and offer more to others.
Step 2: Prevent
Your list of sensory triggers, tricky times and places may be completely different but here are a few ideas that help us.
Stuff and clutter
Getting rid of what we don’t need is a work in progress in our house. We’ve been relatively brutal with our own stuff, but it’s pretty mean to just get rid of someone else’s belongings if they’re not ready to let go (however much we’d love to chuck every piece of tat that gets left on the kitchen worktop).
Encourage the kids to have a clear out, a garage sale or perhaps take items to the charity shop. Theres a lot to gain here and remember one child’s trash is another child’s treasure.
Give everything a place – and make sure you put it there!
Ahem… another work in progress here. The kids are notoriously bad for leaving their stuff everywhere. Aren’t most children? Louise isn’t much better though. We often disagree on where the best place for something is (Miles likes things away and out of sight, Louise likes things to be where she’ll need to use them – thats what she says).
When we do manage to get everything away and organised it is bliss! There’s clearly a noticeable difference in the flow of the day.
Sound
With all the devices in the house the layers of sound can be a lot. Grandad kindly bought the kids bluetooth headphones to use with their tablets, and when they’re charged and used they’re an absolute brain saver. The kids can be in their own little world but have the comfort of being with us at the same time.
Fewer sources of sound make a big difference and naturally reduce sensory overload. Can the washing machine/ dishwasher/ robot vacuum wait until you go out? Most big appliances have a delay timer. Obviously you may be doing five loads a day like us but where possible, we highly recommend you use it.
The acoustics of your space can make a massive difference too. Soft furnishings, carpets and rugs really help to dampen the reverberation of sound in a room and limit the build up of face-melting frequencies.
Another suggestion is to introduce MORE sound.
Bear with us here.
Sometimes, introducing the RIGHT sound can actually help! Music that everyone loves may transform individual noisy play with all its overlapping noises into one singular family dancing session. Some chilled music or an audiobook while they’re playing with Lego or Play Doh can help keep the flow going too.
Mixing up the family dynamics always has a huge impact on our days. Make time for the kids to do things apart so they are not on top of each other all the time. Perhaps that’s 1-2-1 time with parents or grandparents, clubs or classes or a treaty trip to cafe, etc.
Our kids interact very differently with us and each other when things are mixed up. We often find that when one child is somewhere else, instant calm descends on the house. It’s not something we manage to facilitate often, but when we do and when they’re happy to be apart (they really do love each other’s company) it’s good for us all.
Smells
Strong smells from cooking might also trigger sensory overload, or may take time to get used to. We’ve always cooked with lots of spices yet our children still differ from day to day whether they like them or not. Cleaning products may also cause add to the overload, including toiletries.
One of our favourite unschooling blogs, Happiness is here recommends the use of essential oils etc to promote calm and help the day flow more smoothly. That could be diffusing sweet orange in to the house during the day and lavender whilst winding down for bed. We do something similar with scented candles.
Communicate your preferences
Our children are wonderfully affectionate and naturally share their love in the same ways they like us to show ours. Sometimes they are very vocal: “tickle me with your nails!”, “I want a cuddle!”. Sometimes they just barrel roll into us for a bit of rough and tumble.
We’ve often been guilty of communicating our sensory needs but in a negative way: “don’t touch me please”, “I don’t want to be tickled” etc. Whilst expressing our needs is important, we’ve recently started to try and be more like our kids and communicate what we DO want. Louise told Annie that she really loves big squeezy cuddles and POOF like magic that’s what Annie is dishing out. It’s much nicer for everyone.
Step 3: React
Noise
Did anyone else grow up hearing this?
“Put a sock in it”
As much as we’d love to have peace and quiet on demand, sometimes we just need to roll with it. So instead of telling others to put a sock in it – put a plug in it.
An earplug that is.
Miles likes Flare Audio’s Calmer. Louise gets on better with Loop Experience ear plugs.
At times we’ve used earplugs designed for loud gigs, we’ve even worn the children’s ear defenders, and when there’s a full moon, we’ve been known to wear both at the same time.
Miles has been using Flare Audio ear plugs since running his old record label and attending very loud rock shows on a regular basis. These are really effective. We now keep them in the car for emergencies when things really get too much, the kid’s vocal play goes bananas and there’s no escape from the steel cage.
Calmer, by Flare Audio – work differently to normal earplugs. They don’t block out the noise as such but cleverly reshape the way sound is directed to your eardrum lowering the harsh frequencies that send us berserk! They really do help, particularly with triggers like crying and such are great with a newborn. They’d have been very useful had we had them when Ada was writhing in pain with Colic.
Our new favourite and fairly inconspicuous saviour are Apple AirPods Pro with noise cancellation. Whilst they cannot completely block out all noise they are fantastic at lowering and almost removing the constant sounds of household appliances. They really take the edge off of everything else too. When we really need ten minutes of mental space we use our AirPods.
Miles also streams his catalogue of white noise tracks on Spotify simultaneously to further mask external noise. If you’re interested, listen to his Noise Foundation tracks here.
With our Airpods in listening to an audio book and the kids have their headphones charged and firmly in place, we can all be doing the 21st century seated zombie pose, concentrating on our own things but enjoying a cuddle at the same time. It’s actually really pleasant.
Touch
Regulate yourself by having textures and sensations around that you all love
- Soft rugs and furnishings not only make the home more welcoming but feel wonderful on the skin
- We’ve bought a variety of stress balls and even a big Goo-jitsu for the office. We also got a Muv mat for our standing desk that massages our feet as we stand and work. It feels great!
- Our kids love the underfloor heating particularly in our bathroom where it gets really toasty. They’ll lie down and snuggle there for ages. Maybe an electric blanket might go down well?
Perhaps your family likes different things depending on the time of the day – something rough and scratchy when you’re feeling worked up? If they love soft fluffy stuff – get the softest rug you can find for your floor.
Go outside or let it go
Sometimes the simplest things can feel like the hardest to do. Get some fresh air – even if it’s raining. Stand in the garden or at least stick your head out of the window. It’s incredible the difference it makes for even just a few minutes.
The book “Why Didn’t They Tell Me This Before” describes a VERY useful mindfulness technique of breathing out for longer than you breathe in. It quickly lowers the heart rate and subsequently stress levels. It works… Do it!
If that still feels like a challenge, try rage cleaning. It’s something we frequently do. Take advantage of the pent up frustration and go on a cleaning frenzy! It’s cathartic and productive and the reduction in mess helps create a calmer atmosphere when you’ve finished.
Another simple one but a biggie…
Join the kids in what they are doing. It sounds counter-intuitive, but if we’re involved in the noise and mess making we’re much less bothered by it.
Step 4: Recover
Looking after yourself is important. We all know that but often need reminding. A reset or returning to the baseline will make it less likely you’ll feel triggered and overwhelmed in the immediate future
We said it a moment ago but get outside. We’re animals right?
Get away from the house with the children or if you can occasionally by yourself.
The same goes with typical exercise – with or without the children. It releases tension, helps regulate your body and mind. Plan it in though… it’s an easy thing to forget about amongst the maelstrom of day-to-day family life.
Get some time alone if you need it (if you can). Ask for help, people can’t read your minds. You may not want to burden people and you may need to be quite direct, but it’s important. We’d happily add to the chaos of our house for a few hours to facilitate a little reset for a friend or family member if they needed it or even if they felt they didn’t.
It’s surprising how little thought we give to our sensory input. Allowing yourself to mindfully sense stuff feeds the soul and really helps with recovery.
- Wrap yourself in a heavy duvet or weighted blanket
- Lie down on a spiky “Shakti” acupressure mat
- Take your shoes off and feel the ground – leaf litter, sandy beach, puddles, soft carpets
- Have a warm bath in the dark with lovely smells and candles
- Swim in a cold pool/ the sea – or have a cold shower
- Play with some sand/ slime/ clay or dough – it’s good fun!
Step 5: Accept
There is only so much we can do to shape the environment around us, particularly when you live in a large family unit and you don’t want to be the authoritarian, controlling parent.
Perhaps, the thing we have the most control over is ourselves. The way we react to something is ultimately a choice. It sometimes just feels easier to explode than let it go.
It comes down to managing our expectations, having an attitude adjustment of our own and simple acceptance.
We love yoga as a way of centering ourselves. B.K.S. Iyengar, who was one the world’s most respected yoga gurus, said that the best meditators witness and accept the noise and chaos around them. Basically, a tranquil space is not necessary for successful meditation… apparently.
That may be true… but it would be nice once in a while!
Iyengar believed that being able to meditate with distractions demonstrates a higher level of mastery. This is considered a true test of a meditation practice and can lead to deeper inner peace and understanding.
Sounds great! We’d like to have invited him to our house to see how he would have got on.
There are however occasions when we breathe deeply and allow it to wash over us.
It is possible and we’re definitely getting better at it. Being mindfully aware of our thoughts and emotions is a great skill to lower anxiety levels.
The language we use makes a big difference. “I am feeling stressed” or “I am feeling angry” is much better than “I AM stressed” or “I AM angry”. It detaches the emotion from the sense of self.
So please, do your best to prevent sensory overload but when things are getting a bit much, you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed by sensory overload, remember to either pop in those earplugs, noise-cancelling Airpods or get outside even if it’s just for a moment and…
BREATHE.
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– Miles & Louise x
Louise is an ex-teacher turned actuary and business owner who prioritizes living life on her own terms. Along with her husband Miles, she home educates and unschools their three young children, believing in empowering them to learn and grow in a way that aligns with their unique passions and interests. Louise co-founded Healthy, Curious …Occasionally Furious, a blog that inspires others to break free from societal expectations and norms – particularly in relation to education and family. In her free time, she enjoys running, reading, doodling, and is a whizz at spreadsheets and analysing numbers. Louise and Miles also run Cassette Property Group, a new property investment company that help others build assets and achieve financial freedom.