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We home educate and now have a blog, so pass us the pitchforks and sledgehammers and let’s go school-bashing!
Pffff, Okay. Whilst that would be bloody tempting and most certainly cathartic; it’s unnecessary. You’re probably reading this because you already know the education system is failing your child in some way or it already failed you. Rather than dwelling on that shitshow, let us open the school gates and look to pastures new.
Kids don’t have to go to school. There’s a whole world of learning out there and it doesn’t have to happen sitting behind a desk.
We home educate our kids. In this post we discuss what home education actually is; why it’s not just school at home; and how you and your family can benefit from living this wonderful lifestyle. But first, let’s get something out of the way…
It’s on YOU!
Providing a full-time education is your legal responsibility as a parent. Certainly in the UK.
You knew that right?
Western society simply presumes we will outsource this because that’s the norm. Yet we have basically no choice over what children learn or how they’re taught in schools. Not so for home educating families.
So, what is home education?
Millions of families experienced a full-time education at home during Covid but remote schooling is not home education as we know it.
Far more than ‘school at home’, it is taking the reins of learning into your own hands.
And what are the benefits of home ed?
- Freedom and flexibility
- Choice and agency
- Less stress
- Deeper connections and socialising
- No regular monitoring, judgement and public shaming
- No hierarchy / peer pressure
The list goes on but let’s expand…
Tailor-made learning
Home Ed can take many forms. Each family we know does it differently. The flexibility is there to find what works for them. Some study online curriculums or loosely follow what they do in schools but in their own timeframe. Some families take a blended approach, and ‘flexi-school’ or even ‘world school’.
We ‘unschool’ our three children; meaning we facilitate their self-directed learning with no set timetable or curriculum.
None of these options require a lifelong commitment. Nor does it if your child already attends a regular school. If we get nothing across other than this point, we’ll be happy. You (and your children!) have a choice! And you can change your minds at any point!
Why did we start home educating?
Parenting can be tough, so we’ve always looked to improve what we do and how we are with the kids. Reading books about communication and education styles, and joining various parenting communities have had a big impact on us. Louise was part of a large online group of local mums and few of them did things differently…
As the prospect of school loomed for our eldest, Francis, we questioned the system. A system in which we worked for years. We spent hours chatting about what we wanted for the kids and our personal struggles with the institution as both teachers and children.
We saw so many wonderful things and met so many confident and intelligent children. We knew we wanted this for our family.
Francis was so little when the letter arrived telling us to apply. Being summer born he would have been one of the youngest in his year. We discovered a report on how the month of birth, relative to the start of the school year, can have a massive effect on performance throughout a child’s school life. It got us thinking.
Knowing a full-time education in the UK isn’t compulsory until five years old; we put the letter aside and decided to apply the following year. That in itself felt like a huge step away from the norm.
One thing led to another and soon we were regularly meeting with home educators, playing together in parks, visiting their homes and being inspired by their freedom. Not just from school but their attitudes to life. We saw many wonderful things and met so many confident and intelligent children. They were doing things their own way and didn’t suffer from continual disruption and outside interference from school.
It was a beautiful thing and we wanted it for our family.
Time flies… out the window
Home educating families have so much more control over their time. There are no school runs. No strict timetable. We still get ready in the morning and go out most days but we do what we want.
Avoiding rush hour is the best thing! Not being surrounded by the oppressive morning slog. We’re able to visit places off peak, go on holiday whenever funds allow it, and really take our time to enjoy places without the crowds.
We have three young kids so getting ready is still a work in progress and not devoid of its stresses (mostly due to our own impatience – which we’re working on). But if we’re not feeling like going out, we can change our mind. If the weather is looking miserable and we just want to snuggle up for the day in our PJs, we can. Or if we’re feeling energetic we could whack on our wellies, splash in puddles until we’re soaked; come home for a warm bath; make some hot chocolate, listen to music, read books, chill out in front of the TV and learn how chocolate is made.
There are no school runs. No timetable. We do what we want.
We had children because we want to spend time with them and, hopefully, continue to build a strong bond over our lives. It’s sad that quality relationships with family are often at the expense of work pressures or other such bullshit. We love working, but also spending time with our kids. The perfect balance may never be achieved but it’s something we always aim to work towards. The kids not being at school really helps with this.
One of the favourite and most natural uses of that time is playing and learning together. There is so much stuff to learn and following our kids down a rabbit hole of intrigue is such a joy. We often find ourselves investigating things we would never normally have given a moment’s thought.
No limit
Application of knowledge is key to cementing it in the brain. Something that’s perhaps easier for home educated children to do. Whether or not they follow a curriculum, they can ‘warp time’, go wherever curiosity may lead them and process what they’ve learned.
An idea or topic that might be covered in an hour at school can turn into a month-long multifaceted project or longer. Something that as teachers we could rarely facilitate due to the nell of the school bell only 60 minutes away (or 40 minutes in some of the exam factories… ahem… ‘Outstanding’ schools).
A kid we know spent months designing his own Spider-man web-slinger. He’s not swinging from building to building yet but has been through multiple versions of his gizmo; learned so much along the way and applied many skills he may have struggled to do in a school setting.
Stress buster
One of the first things trainee teachers experience is lip service to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which says safety and comfort must come before effective learning can take place. Yet, the hierarchy in schools from leadership down to the students, and from the cool cliquey kids to the misfits, can become a prison of fear that gets worse as hormones start racing. Even the cool kids are just trying to survive.
There’s no hierarchy in home ed. Taking this needless stress away has a huge impact on our quality of life. We have more time together and can spend it with people because we want to. Because we genuinely desire to build relationships, play and explore the world together. Age isn’t even an issue. Our kids happily chat to toddlers, teenagers or octogenarians as much as they do with someone their own age.
Segregation by age in schools seems so alien to us now. We regularly see the older kids at our home ed meetups nurturing the younger ones. It’s a beautiful thing to witness yet it seems so rare in society.
Freedom is a word we’ll use a lot. The freedom to say “no”, “I don’t want to go today”, or “I’ve had enough and I need time out” shouldn’t be a luxury. Many kids don’t have the option and must suck it up. The number of people with mental health issues these days comes as no surprise.
We can’t eliminate all stresses and strains from our lives and nor do we intend to try; but the unnecessary and arbitrary stresses can fuck right off.
Long hair – we don’t care!
We’ve developed ‘home ed radar’. We’ll clock kids across the park, and notice they seem a little different. Subtleties in what they do; how they interact with others; and the way they dress. Their freedom radiates.
Giving a child agency over their own life and individuality (or rather not taking it away) is simply amazing.
Not having to conform and fit in means if a kid has a funky hair cut or wears ‘interesting’ combinations of clothes – it’s ok and often applauded. Our Francis is a great example… he’s developed a bit of a skater look with his long hair and baggy clothes but it’s often heavily accented with bright pink. Like Mowgli ransacked the pink Power Rangers’ wardrobe. It’s awesome to see kids not give a damn and be themselves.
A change of life
Since we consciously started home educating the kids, this freedom that comes with it is slowly rubbing off on us. We’re becoming more aware of our own needs, willing to do things differently and are living our life for us and on our own terms.
If you like the sound of a home ed life, check out our home education book recommendations.
Yours is a beautiful scenario, but how does it fit with being working parent having trouble with fixed hours? And, even when it is possible to happen, how does that apply to single-child families? Thankyou.
Hi Cecilia.
Thanks for leaving a comment.
We feel very grateful to have made the leap into home educating our family. Louise currently works four days per week and I tend to work on my projects during the early morning, evening or a day or two at the weekend. This means one of us is always available for the children.
We know plenty of families that have to do a similar juggling of work responsibilities and child care. Having a network whether it’s family or friends certainly helps too.
For single parents, it must be challenging but it’s not impossible. It will also depend on the kind of work the parent does. Many jobs can be carried out at home these days. Both Louise and I work from home which makes things A LOT easier! This is very much a conscious decision though as it facilitates more ease, and saves a lot of time.
All in all, I think it’s important to do your best to make work and family responsibilities fit together whether or not you decide to home educate. In some instances, it might mean needing to change employment or working with employers who allow their staff more flexibility.
I hope that helps answer your question, and if you have any more please send me message and we can chat further.
All the best,
Miles